Happy New Year! Onwards and Upwards!

American Negro Ballet, 1937

President Obama's Attack on Sexism; The Safer of the Two 'Isms'

I don't watch the evening news because I am tired of seeing President Obama looking tired and defeated.  I don't read articles about him online because the comments usually reveal a shockingly high number of intensely racist sentiments.  If President Obama is on the cover of The Post or The Daily News, I avoid looking at the headline out of fear that the accompanying photograph or illustration will demean the office of The President of the United States.

The New York Post: When freedom of the press trumps good taste.

It is interesting that much of the anger at Obama comes from the liberals who supported him. President Obama's recent decision to normalize relations with Cuba reminded me of how many historic decisions he has made since taking office in 2009. For example, President Obama:

• Approved the raid that led to the capture of Osama Bin Laden
• Signed the Don't Ask Don't Tell Act of 2010
• Supported Supreme Court decision striking down The Defense of Marriage Act
• Ended the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
• Nominated first Latina to The Supreme Court and appointed the first black man as Attorney General

Obama Smiling Photo: collective-evolution.com

Despite all of these accomplishments, I too have been guilty of looking at President Obama with some measure of disappointment because of his dispassionate and sometimes awkward approach to dealing with the issue of race in America (remember The Beer Summit?)  In the midst of the racial tension caused by the murders of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, and Eric Garner, I wanted more from him. 

Perhaps I was looking for President Obama to to make a statement in support of the protestors, and to admit that in his youth he would have been one of the activists organizing the protests.  Maybe I wanted him to visit Ferguson and ask for healing from the front lines, or meet with the children of Eric Garner and promise to find a way to support their continued education.  Considering the position that New York Mayor Bill De Blasio now finds himself in with the police department, maybe it was the right political decision to remain relatively silent. 

Cops Turn Their Backs as Mayor Speaks at Funeral of Slain Cop Photo: NY Daily News

However, in the wake of these deaths, I did not want to hear our President speaking the carefully calibrated words of  a politician. I wanted to hear him speak the passionate and inspired words of a man.

It appears that when race is uncomfortable for him to speak of, Obama turns to issues of gender.  At a recent, Toys for Tots event, President Obama made a point of placing sports equipment and Legos in the bin reserved for girls.  This comes at a time when recent research suggests that toys are more gendered than they were 50 years ago.  

It's a shame that this is as triumphant as Obama has looked in years

Obama also recently held a press conference in which he only called on female reporters, in order to make a point about how it feels to be seen but not heard.*  Furthermore, he allowed himself to have his picture taken wearing a tiara with several Girl Scouts who had exhibited a flood proof bridge project at a White House Science Fair.  Clearly, these actions are sincere statements about equality from a man who adores his wife and two daughters.  But they also seem calculated (Obama has never attended the Toys for Tots events before this year). At a time when blacks and whites seem to be viewing the world through two different lenses, focusing on gender equality is a way to generate goodwill from liberals and progressives without actually alienating anyone. Moderates and conservatives have daughters too, and if they don't support gender equality they will most likely keep those opinions to themselves out of fear of looking like Neanderthals.  In the end Obama comes out looking revolutionary without actually being controversial.

I haven't decided if this is shrewd or cowardly.  Probably a little bit of both.

Photo: Washington Post

* As an aside, when I taught Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye I did a similar activity.  I told the 8th graders that I was reassigning their seats because of their behavior on the previous day.  I put all of the darker-skinned students in the front and all of the lighter-skinned students toward the back.  I conducted class as usual, but ignored the light-skinned students and heaped praise on the darker skinned students.  Usually about 20 minutes into the lesson, my students figured out what I was doing and we were able to have an interesting discussion about colorism and the main character Pecola's experiences in school.   Interestingly, my students were more offended by what they saw as my error in categorization ("Im not dark-skinned") than by the treatment they received.  I wouldn't suggest doing this without a written lesson plan and another adult in the classroom.

Jackie is the Queen of Kale

We are big fans of Jackie Jenkins over here.  In addition to being an intellectual and athlete with an extremely warm and joyful heart, she is a great cook.  When she came over for Thanksgiving she brought this amazing sweet and savory kale salad.  When I posted the recipe on this blog, someone from Facebook actually made it.  I actually made it (and those who know me know that that means a lot!)  In the weeks leading up to Christmas my mother texted me almost daily to make sure that Jackie was bringing it for our holiday party.  After we sat down to dinner, my father insisted on frequent updates as to her ETA.  Jackie's kale salad is that good, so I made sure to get a recipe for another one.  Enjoy!

Almost Raw Asian Kale Salad

(Adapted from Tess Challis's book The Two-Week Wellness Solution)

• 6 cups kale (lightly packed) washed and well drained
• 2 tablespoons of fresh lime juice
• 1 tablespoon of toasted sesame oil
• 4 teaspoons of agave nectar
• 1 teaspoon of orange juice

• 5 medium cloves of garlic, pressed or finely minced
• 1 tablespoon each: grated ginger and sesame seeds (raw or toasted)
• 1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1. Remove the stems from the kale and chop the kale leaves into thin ribbons (or just finely chop if you prefer).  Place in a large bowl.

2. Add the lime juice, sesame oil, agave nectar, and orange juice.  Using your hands, stir well to combine.  Continue to work the liquids into the kale with your hands-you are massaging the marinade into the kale.  Once the kale turns a darker shade of green is softened, you're done with the massage.

3. Add the remaining ingredients to the kale mixture and stir well, using a spoon or your hands.  Once the mixture is throughly combined, it's done.  This can either be served immediately or refrigerated in an airtight container for several days.

Available at amazon.com

Harlem Hair Rules

When I was around ten my grandfather took me to a hair salon in Baltimore.  The hairdresser touched my short natural hair, commented that I was a "waste of yellow," and promptly decided that I needed a Jheri-Curl. I remember going back to my grandparent's house so ashamed by the disgust and impatience in the woman's touch that I flopped down in my aunt's old bed and sobbed.  My grandfather came in and tried to figure out what was wrong; he had a panicked look on his face and I was embarrassed to tell him that all of this emotion was over my hair.  That was the first time that I can remember seeing a man looking helpless.

Needless to say I did not come out of the salon looking like this

Over the years, I have visited hundreds of other hair salons and have experienced various levels of satisfaction.  I have gone from wondering why I was giving my hard earned $15 to someone who complained that I had "pelo malo"- to walking out of a salon with hair so fabulous that I felt invincible.  I have been to the chicest hair salons in Manhattan -and ones where rats were liable to jump out of the trash at any moment.

www.themuseumofafricanart.org

After several years of relaxing, coloring, and frequent heat styling my hair gave up and decided that it rather live in the sink, the drain, or the bathroom floor.  As I gradually cut out the damage,  I look at my real hair as an anchor to attatch the fake hair to.  In preparation for the holiday season, Chloe and I have spent more time (and money) than usual in shops run by black women from Africa, the Caribbean, and the continental United States.  Here are some tips for what to expect in Harlem hair salons.

Our hair budget supports Black owned businesses.  Or at least, that's what we tell ourselves

1. Ignore the condition of your hairdresser's hair.  I know that conventional wisdom says that you should never get your hair done by someone whose own hair is a mess.  However, I have gotten some seriously stylish hairstyles done by women with no edges and/or wigs that looked like wool hats.  The best way to judge a stylist's talent is to ask for a referral from someone whose hair you admire, or arrive early and watch the stylist work on the client before you.

Hair Goals

2. Bring cash if you are in the market for stolen goods.  In addition to the random people entering the salon to sell you DVDs and "gold" bangles, you may also see a real life version of Hustle Man if you are lucky.  Said individual will come into the salon to sell you Dove Soap and Aquaphor he just stole from the Duane Reade around the corner.  He will also take orders for his next trip.

3. Be prepared for instant intimacy. There are some salons that will offer you a cup of Barefoot Moscato as soon as you sit down.  There are others where you will laugh until you cry as stylists joke about wayward husbands and unmotivated sons. There are others where a woman shares that her son doesn't want to go to college from the shelter that they have just moved into- all while she coats your daughters hair in conditioner and coaxes the tangles out of it.

4. Avoid looking too cute going to get your hair braided.  When you walk into an African hair braiding salon the women will take you outside (regardless of the weather) to talk to you about price. This is to ensure that you don't find out that the five women getting identical cornrows are all paying a different price.  If you insist on looking flawless when you go get your hair braided, expect to pay at least twenty percent more than everyone else in the shop.

Photo:Pinterest

5. Don't feel awkward if someone begins to pray at your feet.  African braiding salons can be some of the loudest most chaotic places on earth.  Women speak to each other in French and Wolof, while television screens blare staticy Nollywood movies.  And in the midst of it all women lay prayer rugs down on floors covered in discarded hair and are at peace.

Most importantly, recognize that your hair is not a deviant part of you that needs to be 'fixed.'  Instead look at it as an accessory that can (and should) be changed according to the dictates of your mood.   You never need a reason or justification for being fabulous!

Trying to find her Zen

As Chloe says, "Happy Birthday Jesus!"

My earliest Christmas memories involve waking my brother up at the crack of dawn and running downstairs to see what Santa Claus had brought us.  As I got older, part of the Christmas tradition involved calling Mikita in order to compare our respective hauls, and then traveling to Baltimore by train the next day to visit my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I always felt particularly lucky to have two Christmases.

Christmas circa 1978

Now that I am a mother, some traditions from my childhood have remained, while others have changed.  Chloe still believes in Santa Claus, but she likes to wake up late and cuddle before going downstairs to see what is under the tree.  Since she was a baby we have travelled to Mikita's parents' house in order to celebrate with her family, and for the past two years the party has moved to  Mikita's house in West Orange, NJ.  We now alternate between hosting the Day-After Christmas celebration in Maryland and Harlem.  

Misa and Chloe- Christmas 2008

This December our Christmas was all about re-connecting through food, drink, and laughter.  I am grateful that Chloe and I were able to spend time with our extended family of  Cardwells, Farrows, Glovers, Schneiders, Joneses, Parkers, Simmonses, Kims, and Jenkinses.  

Black is Beautiful: Aídah

Ready for Selma!

How old are you? I'm 29 years old.

What's your beauty philosophy? I don't really allow myself to succumb to the idea of beauty because I think the idea is enmeshed in whether people measure up to standards that were and continue to be created from their exclusion. So you often end having to be dangerously conformist or submissive in order to be beautiful.  Alternately, I'm a huge proponent of vanity, which I define as an intentional and impassioned uplifting of one's physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual integrity. For me, it's a concerted effort to edify myself on my own terms. So my "beauty philosophy" is to be vain, very vain.

Who do you look to for beauty inspiration? I look to anyone that possesses some quality or trait that I immediately see in myself or aspire to see. Lately my inspirations have ranged from Chelo Alonso, C. L. R. James (What a beautiful mind!), and Whitley Gilbert from "A Different World" to Spanish Matadors (The suits they wear are so stunning!), Yvonne Nelson (Because I think we favor each other)  and Stella Jean (I find the designer's take on Ankara fabric refreshing). Recently, the 1940s have also been a very strong influence on my imagination because the silhouettes tend to work with my figure and I love how the makeup is present but minimalistic.

Haitian Designer Stella Jean

Describe your skin care routine. I've learned that for me, great skin starts from the inside out, so I focus on eating well-balanced, nutritious meals, taking appropriate supplements and drinking water. When I stray from this, my skin will look dull and I might get acne as well. And inversely, once I start to eat well and drink water, my skin will go right back to its best condition. Other than that I don't do much: I wash my face and body with a sulphur-based soap, moisturize with whatever lotion I have (I always mix my lotions with olive oil), and I exfoliate at least three times per week.

What are some of the things in your make-up bag that are tried and true and you can't live without?

1. Ole Henriksen's Sheer Transformation Brightening Moisturizer - I've been using this for about 5 years and it really does keep your skin supple.

2. Lush Cosmetics' Ocean Salt Face and Body Scrub - this product has done nothing but wonders for my skin since I started using it about 6 months ago and the results were immediate.

3. Tinted Moisturizer from Giella Custom Blend Cosmetics- because this was custom made for my skin it's perfection when I wear it. I also have some amazing custom lipsticks, powders and blushes from this line.

4. "A-Piers to Be Tan" Nail Polish by OPI - this is a great brown color in general, and a beautiful "nude" for medium and darker brown complexions.

Available at amazon.com

5. "Ginger Snap" Butter Gloss by NYX - I generally don't like lip-gloss but this one feels more like a crème lips. It's moisturizing and has none of the stickiness and tacky shininess that I hate about gloss.

What are some of the new things you've picked up lately that you're obsessed with?

1. 3/4 length gloves, also known as opera gloves: So far I have three leather pairs in cream, black and red. I've recently come to appreciate what I like to call the ceremony of self-immersion, and these gloves really speak to that because there is a ritual to putting them on and taking them off. I find the experience really deliberate and gratifying.

2. Wolford Individual 10 Tights: These are actually sheer panty hose and I love them for the same reason I love my gloves - sheer panty hose are the epitome of ceremonious self-immersion! You really have to take your time with them. I also think sheer black hose are very flirty and suggestive, so I get to be a bit of a vedette when I wear them.

3. Lime green pumps from Topshop. During summer 2014 someone suggested lime green as a color I might wear, and I was so averse to it. But then I actually tried it and it is such a fun color! I'm actually shocked at the large amount of clothing I own that can be paired with the color, so these shoes were a must. I also have a lime green purse that I love.

4. Tea! I really like the Traditional Medicinals' Healthy Cycle Tea and find that it's helping me to have less discomfort during menstruation. I actually wish I would have discovered this much sooner.

5. Manicures! It's a treat I've been doing more and more often for the past year and a half. I mostly go for hand massages and polish changes but as someone who was teased for having very long and skinny fingers, even those simple services put joy and appreciation into a body part that I have often tried to hide.

Happy Holidays!

Photo: The New Yorker

From Ciroc to CNN

I have not watched a single episode of Grey's Anatomy, but here are five reasons why I love Jessie Williams:

Photo: Twitter

1. He identifies as Black -  In Toni Morrison's novel, Tar Baby, one of the characters says, "Yallas don't come to being black natural-like.  They have to choose it and most don't choose it.  Be careful of the stuff they put down."  Williams has chosen blackness in an era when many celebrities act as if they have the option not to.

Refugees from Blackness

2. He is courageous and articulate - When Williams talks about race he does so without apologizing for his anger.    He is passionate yet clearly knowledgeable about history, politics, and pop culture.   My favorite part of this video is when he says "if you don't live around black folks, and you just watch television you are going to be racist," but black culture is America's most profitable export.  I wonder how Williams's words would be received if he was a dark-skinned actor on a hit television show. Would he even still have a job?



3. Has a black wife with a normal woman's body:  I know this guy, let's call him Hakeem, who will complain about gentrification any chance he gets.  If I mention a new restaurant in Harlem, I have to be prepared for a lecture about how I shouldn't give my money to businesses that were not created with "us" in mind. However, his longtime girlfriend is white and he sees no contradiction between griping about gentrification and being gentrification personified.  Sometimes a person's choice of partner is more political than anything that comes out of their mouth because who they choose to spend their life with makes a statement about what they value in the world.

Photo: people.com

Photo: dailymail.com

4. He used to be a teacher:  Both of Williams's parents were teachers.  After attending Temple University, where he double majored in African-American Studies and Film and Media Studies, Williams taught high-school in Philadelphia's public schools for six years.

5. He's fine.  Williams is already being compared to Harry Belafonte.   Both are good looking, charismatic men who blur the line between artist and activist.  Considering the fickle nature of the entertainment industry and the lack of roles for black men, let's hope that Williams is able to have the longevity of Belafonte.  If not, I'm certain that he would be welcomed back into the classroom!

I love the fact that he wears a shirt and tie in a Vodka commercial and a hoodie on CNN!

Seven in the City

Hair Done, Nails Done

December 21, 2014

by Chloe Cross

Today is Sunday and I got my hair done. It's like braids going to the side, but twists at the end.  It's so tight.  I had a cake pop, chocolate milk, and water.  Then me and my mom went to the nail salon.  They put scrub, lotion, and a hot wash cloth on my feet.  It felt so relaxing and nice.  I got a light/dark pink.  They put a second coat of pink on my nails. The person that did my nails loves pink.  I have never been to this place before.  They have a little tub and they put it on a stand that vibrates.  On the bottom of the little tub there were bumps.  It felt so good.  The pink nail polish was sooooo shiny in the light.  It was so beautiful.  It made me cry because it was so beautiful.

@Polished Fingertips in Harlem

One Monkey . . .

When Winter Break Seems a Lifetime Away

Teachers (and students) know that the week before Winter Break is the longest week known to man.   You're certain that you should be teaching, but when you ask your students to take out their grammar books they look at you like you're crazy and keep sucking on the candy canes that their other teacher gave them.

As a compromise you teach them about Direct Objects and then promise to show a documentary after their test.  You then spend the rest of the week watching The Queen of Versailles, smiling inwardly as they shake their flaxen heads at the ways of rich folk.  (This scenerio is entirely hypothetical, of course).

Thank goodness for documentaries.  Here is a list of other things that that are giving me life until this Friday:

1.  Chris Ofili: Night and Day 
Everything I know about art I learned from my parents or Tumblr.  I discovered Chris Ofili on the latter, and was pleased to learn that a retrospective of his work is currently on view at The New Museum.   After unsuccessfully begging Chloe to go with me, I gave up and decided to go on my own after work.  Ofili's painting are bold, funny, and thought provoking.  His work is full of contradiction: glitter and elephant dung share space on the canvas.

In one darkened room hand several canvases that look as if they have been painted black.  It is only after your eyes adjust and you look at the work from various angles that different images appear, and it feels like magic.  The photographs below don't do Ofili's work justice; go see Night and Day in person before the exhibit closes at the end of January.  Be sure to visit the fourth floor and be prepared to have your breath taken away.

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2. Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi

Photo: theroot.com

As soon as I finished this book, I had a desire to turn back to the first page and start reading it all over again.  Boy, Snow, Bird is about Boy Novak, a woman who moves away from her abusive father and re-creates her life in a small New England town. The novel examines issues such as race, beauty, and vanity through the lens of fairy tales.  I will have to read Boy, Snow, Bird a few more times before I fully understand it, but how can you not fall in love with language like this: 

"I was new to champagne, but as soon as I tasted it, spark after golden spark, I thought, well, there's magic in this water."

Photo: Marc Burckhardt/nyt.com

3. D'Angelo's Black Messiah: The last time that D'Angelo had an album out I was a recent college graduate.  I stopped waiting for new material from him amid news stories about prostitution charges, drug arrests, and rehab visits.  It seemed as if he and Lauryn Hill had cracked under the pressure of their own genius.  But then Black Messiah came out of nowhere at precisely the right time. Apparently, D'Angelo moved up the release date for the album in response to the uprising following the deaths of Mike Brown and Eric Garner.  Black Messiah is Protest Music. Rebel Music.

Although, I don't think that Black Messiah is quite as inspired as Voodoo, it feels good to hear music that doesn't have all of the flaws and emotion mechanized out of it.  My favorite songs are Betray My Heart and Sugah Daddy.

Available on iTunes

4. Henri Bendel:  Last year at this time I was being disrespected by a 14 year old girl who received no consequence (because we needed to 'understand her culture').  She then gave herself a shout-out during closing meeting for having a 'good day,' and finished off by doing a little dance and repeating the words "you mad" while administrators looked on sheepishly.  This year, I received my first gift from Henri Bendel.  Very simply, it is nice to be appreciated.

Because I'm worth it!