The Year of the Conceited Black Girl!

Jahmeelah Nash-Fuller is one of my favorite students of all time.  Over the years that I have known her she has challenged me, driven me into fits of laughter, and consistently made me proud.  One of my earliest memories of Jahmeelah is of her organizing an America's Next Top Model competition in the park during Summer School. She was only in 5th grade but she exhibited the confidence and style of a much older child.

Circa 2006/07

One of the things that I admired about her was her quick wit and her extremely high-self esteem.  Jahmeelah was so sure of herself that I began to wonder if it was a front for some hidden insecurity.  My cynical self questioned whether any middle-school student could adore themselves that much!

One day I  decided to put her to the test.  I had all of the students in my advisory write a list of 100 things that they liked about themselves.  Most students struggled to get past number ten, yet when I looked over at Jahmeelah she was casually listing characteristic after characteristic.  Not only did she have a lot to say, but she seemed to be enjoying the task!

That convinced me that Jahmeelah was the real thing, so when she named herself "Queen Peaches," that's what I called her (much to the chagrin of her classmates).  When she told me that she thought  that The Bluest Eye presented a negative vision of dark-skinned black people, I listened and added Zora Neale Hurston's essay "How it Feels to be Colored Me" to the curriculum.  When one of her classmates insulted her and she hopped up on a table like a character from Paris is Burning and said "look at these thighs" I laughed until I cried rather than giving her a detention.

Two Queens (Not really sure why she's holding that glass of water like it's wine, though)

During Parent Teacher conferences, I had the chance to ask her mother how she instilled self-esteem in her daughter, especially in a world that does not value aggressively outspoken black girls.  Ms. Nash looked at me and said "every night I pray it into her existence.  I pray it into her spirit."  I admit that at the time, I did not really understand what she was talking about.  I'm not religious so I assumed that her advice was not something that was particularly relevant to me.

That was until one day a few weeks ago.  Chloe and I were at Nicole's house celebrating Morgan's birthday.  We were all sitting on the floor watching television when I heard Mrs. Farrow talking to Morgan.  "Do you know how much I love you?  Do you know how smart you are?  You are so beautiful.  Do you know that?"  It was like a mantra, repeated slowly like a prayer.  One that Morgan had clearly heard before.   One that Chloe will hear every day.

Morgan being fabulous!

So, I am joining ranks with those who have declared that 2015 is "The Year of the Conceited Black Girl."

Photo: Tumblr

There is nothing wrong with being conceited; feeling superior to those who don't acknowledge your light or seek to dim it is ok.   Having an "excessively favorable opinion of one's own abilities or appearance" is not vanity; it's survival.