An Open Letter to Khloe Kardashian

Dear Khloe,

I was pulling for you.  In a family of professional pretty people you were the "non-classical beauty" (which is ironic since you are the least ethnic looking of your sisters).

Unlike many white women who have relationships with black men, you actually have black female friends.

I related to your relationship with Lamar.  You were attracted to his wounds and the vulnerability that they implied. You admired the fact that he seemed to be a phoenix rising from the ashes of addiction and familal dysfunction- only to find out that the phoenix was made of ashes and could only soar so high.

You believed that your love alone would heal the wounds inflicted by Lamar's past; that you could re-parent and repair him - and in exchange you would earn unconditional acceptance and love.  Unfortunately, you had to learn that children of addicts aren't nobel savages corrupted by their environment.  You were used, manipulated lied to, and cheated on- all on national television.

Nevertheless, you seemed the most down to earth, fun, and emotionally authentic of the all of characters that your family members play on TV.

Unfortunately, I'm writing this letter to let you know that I'm over you.  Yesterday one of my 6th graders asked me why the Kardashians were famous and I was at a loss for words.  How do I explain that you are famous because your sister made a sex tape, posed for Playboy, and you rode her invisible coattails to fame?

And despite this inauspicious beginning, while in the public eye you used your spotlight to shame Amber Rose for her sexuality, instead of dealing with your own issues.  Rather than attempting to clean yourself and your sisters on the body of a woman of color who admittedly stripped when she was 15,  you should have used your voice to speak about the dangers of addiction and co-dependency.

There are more women in partnerships with men who are addicted to weed, alcohol, and drugs who could have learned from your experience-than care women who care about your opinions of what Amber Rose does with her vagina.


Sincerely,
Candace

The Edge

I wrote about The Edge Harlem a few weeks ago as a part of another post, and after visiting again this weekend I most assuredly did not do the place justice. The Edge definitely deserves its own post!  

101 Edgecombe Avenue

After a week of breaking my own heart (or narrowly avoiding disaster- I can't decide which) I headed to Edgecombe Avenue for some much needed James and Kyle time.  I packed the iPad and some earphones so that we could have some adult conversation, but ever clever Chloe put the earphone in one ear so that she could monitor the conversation in case something juicy came up! 

Unfortunately, the only thing juicy that we were able to discuss at brunch were the mimosas!  I started off with a Mango Mimosa, followed by a Spiced Hibiscus Mimosa.  Both were inventive, tasty, and much needed! The cocktails were so much better than the flat champagne and OJ that are usually served at brunch.  Kyle and James both enjoyed the non-alcoholic sorrell, which we were told was made by the owner's grandfather.

Our meals were wonderful: colorful, fresh, and tasty.  The standout was the Crabcake that Kyle ordered, which came with plantains.  I definitely plan to order it the next time I visit.

Crab Cakes with Mixed Greens

Fried Egg Sandwich with Avocado Tomato, and Mixed Greens

Luckily, Chloe talked us into having dessert and it was a REVELATION.  The Croissant Pudding was the best thing that I have tasted in a while and I have been thinking about it every day since.  Is it the weekend yet?

Croissant Bread Pudding

Elements of Style

A co-worker told me today that when she was growing up she wanted to become a teacher because of the style! She reminisced about seeing her teachers in monochromatic pencil skirts, fitted blazers, and chic heels. We laughed about the mess that we had gotten ourselves into in the name of fashion, but agreed that it was fun to have a job that requires us to wear pretty things everyday!  Here is a list of my current favorites:

Naomi and I are in it for the fashion!

1. Wrap Dress: This Banana Republic dress is my go-to uniform;  I have quite a few in different colors and prints.  Wrap dresses are great because they can be dressed up or down, and they are a good blank slate for accessories.  Plus, this particular dress is washable and rarely needs ironing.  The Gap sometimes comes out with wrap dresses in cute prints, but beware of Old Navy wrap dresses because they tend to be too short for work.  I always wait for 40% of sales, which seem to be happening on a weekly basis at Banana Republic online.  Plus,  the Banana Republic Factory Store on 125th Street offers a teacher's discount with valid ID.

2. Statement Necklace: Any one who knows me knows that I love a good necklace.  When I was younger I had my ears pierced and developed keloids that had to be removed by a plastic surgeon.  I never had my ears pierced again, and since my lobes are always bare, I choose to wear my jewels around my neck. My favorite pieces are from J. Crew, and of course, I never pay full price for anything!

This Midsummer Statement Necklace is definitely on my wish list!

4. Suede Booties: Recently, I had been eyeing a pair of these boots at J.Crew, but they were too expensive to pay for so late into the season.  Plus, I was concerned about spending a lot of money on light colored boots when there has been so much snow, ice, and slush on the ground.  On a whim, I decided to visit the Nine West Outlet on 125th Street while Chloe was getting her hair braided and found these for around 30.00.  They were having a buy one get a second pair 50% off sale, and I wish that I had gotten another pair.  These boots are as comfortable as flats, and a welcome relief from wearing ugly rain boots everyday.

3. Downing Tote: I have two of these bags and they are stylish and utilitarian- cute yet sturdy. Mine carries a laptop, a Kindle, several books, papers, a water bottle, keys, wallet, and various lipsticks- and the straps have not come close to breaking yet.  This would be a great item to have monogrammed.

Grandma Cardwell's Crab Casserole

Vintage Cardwell Family

If you are from Maryland, or have family from that illustrious state, you know that crabmeat is a staple food item. Crabs can be boiled with Old Bay seasoning and cracked down the middle, or shaped lovingly into cakes and served with saltines and yellow mustard.  This crabmeat casserole is a Christmas classic at my Grandmother Cardwell's house.  Enjoy!

The Shelton Family.  My grandmother is on the far right.

Crabmeat Casserole

1 pound of crab meat
2 tablespoon of flour
2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon horseradish
1 cup of milk
1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese
4 tablespoons of butter
1 tablespoon of chopped parsley
1 teaspoon of prepared mustard
1teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup of buttered bread crumbs

1. Melt butter in saucepan, add flour and stir until smooth. Add remaining ingredients, mix well, and pour into greased casserole.

2. Sprinkle with buttered bread crumbs and bake for 30 minutes in a conventional oven at 350. degrees.

Makes 4-6 servings

Nicole's Baby Shower: February 21, 1015

I have known Nicole since she was in Kindergarten when she wore her hair split down the middle in two twisted pigtails.  Nicole knew that she was cute even then!  I remember being in school and Nicole passing by with her class; she took one look at me with my freshly braided extensions and yelled "that's not your hair!"  Misa definitely gets her confidence and brashness from her Auntie!

Over the years I have watched Nicole grow into a stylish woman and a wine connoisseur (it took me two seconds to discover that she was pregnant when she refused to have a drink with me this past summer)!  More importantly, Nicole is someone who is decisive and firm in her beliefs without being stubborn.  She expects the best out of life and is not surprised when she gets it!  She is down to earth, loyal, and funny.

Nicole and Kyle are going to be great parents: loving, relaxed yet firm, and most of all fun!  Their son is lucky to be born to such beautiful parents with such a fabulous, supportive extended family.

Good Luck Nicole! And welcome to the world of motherhood!

This is What 48 Looks Like in My Family!

How old are you?  48

What's your beauty philosophy?

Beauty is individuality and the enhancement of that individuality. 

I was considered unattractive as a teen and young adult.  I did not fit the “standard of beauty” in the 80’s and 90’s of blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin.   I have small almond-shaped brown eyes, a yellow-based complexion and a round face.  Before yellow-based foundations and powders became available on the market, I mixed my own at home. Today, they are standard and cosmetic companies have come to recognize that women come in a spectrum of glorious color and offer a range of complexion shade choices to incorporate individual needs.  Grant you,  it took a long time.  For me, Iman’s original cosmetics line that was launched at JCPenney’s was the first to address my needs.  I remember being so excited about the line that I rushed to JCP to get a foundation (that I didn’t have to mix).  I purchased the color Sand.        

 

Iman Cosmetics Foundation Shades: Sand, Clay, Earth 

Who do you look to for beauty inspiration? 

My beauty icon is Elizabeth Taylor, yet I looked to the late Kevyn Aucoin for beauty inspiration.  While Elizabeth Taylor was gorgeous naturally, Kevyn Aucoin showed me how to apply makeup in creative ways that enhanced my features and not cover them.  He saw all women as beautiful not to be compared to one another, but celebrated for what each possessed in her own right.  I have freckles.  In my younger time, freckles were seen as ugly and you never saw a woman on the cover of a magazine with freckles.  I spent my time in high-school and college always trying to cover them with thick, heavy makeup.  Now, I focus on highlighting my face versus hiding anything.

Describe your skin care routine. 

I have combination skin leaning more towards oily.  I am an international beauty junkie.  I use products from all over the world.  I exfoliate my skin in the morning with a product that comes from Japan.  Although it is removing dead cells, it is very gentle.  Then, I use Vitamin C serum followed by sunscreen SPF 50.  At night, I use a baby wipe to remove my makeup from my face.  I use a liquid makeup remover for the eyes separately.  Then, I cleanse my face, use toner, a skin treatment and a moisturizer. 

At Grandma's 90th Birthday Celebration

What are some of the things in your make-up bag that are tried and true and you can't live without? 

CONCEALER – I cannot live without concealer.  I use it to highlight the inner areas of the face.  I have several and have tested many over the years.  Currently, I have MAKE UP FOR EVER Full Cover Extreme Camouflage Cream, LA MER Radiant Concealer, DIOR Diorskin Star Concealer and URBAN DECAY Naked Skin Weightless Complete Coverage Concealer.  All provide outstanding, luminous coverage and have enormous staying power. 

 

La Mer Radient Concealer

COMPACT – I always carry a compact for touch-ups and sometimes use compact powder in place of foundation.  Currently, I am rotating between LORAC’s POREfection Baked Perfecting Powder (full coverage-as foundation), HOURGLASS’s Ambient Lighting Powder (light to medium coverage) and EM COSMETICS Love Me For Me Flawless Finish Powder Compact (medium to full coverage).  All provide a flawless skin appearance.

LIP PENCIL – With a great lip pencil you can create a fantastic pout with or without lipstick or lip gloss.  My ride-or-die lip pencils are BEN NYE Lip Colour Pencil in Nude and MAKE UP FOR EVER No. 23.  Unfortunately, these can only be purchased through a theatrical makeup store in the U.S.

What are some of the new things you've picked up lately that you're obsessed with?

AMAZING COSMETICS Line Smoother + Primer – An outstanding under makeup primer.  It provides a silky finish on your skin and makes your foundation flawless.

GERARD COSMETICS Color Your Smile Lip Gloss – This gloss is inexpensive and beats all other lip glosses regardless of price hands down.  The pigment is outstanding and it lasts.  Extras include a side mirror and a LED light in the cap.

Gerard Cosmetics Color Your Smile Lip Gloss

TARTE COSMETICS Tarteist Clay Paint Liner – This black only eyeliner has a consistency that is thicker than a liquid eyeliner, yet thinner than a gel eyeliner.  It is the best of both worlds and it doesn’t smudge once set.  In addition, it comes with its own eyeliner brush.

Happy Birthday Toni Morrison!!!!

Illustration by 6th grader Eva S.

I remember visiting my grandmother in Columbia, MD and seeing Toni Morrison on her bookshelves.  Looking back on it, Toni Morrison and Willie Marie Cardwell could have been sisters, as similar as they were in terms of looks, temperament, and wit.

However, my  first true encounter with Toni Morrison's work was in Mr. Daley's 9th grade English class at Columbia Prep. We were reading The Bluest Eye, and although I was a conscientious student, I remember not understanding or finishing the book.  Perhaps reading a book about a black father who rapes his daughter in "mixed company" made me feel uncomfortable.  Perhaps, I just didn't understand the complicated narrative structure or the figurative language.  Nevertheless, that experience turned me off from Toni Morrison for the rest of high-school.  It wasn't until college when I completed  Song of Solomon, followed by Beloved.  After that I was hooked.   

Toni Morrison's novels are like a roadmap for being a woman in the world, a kind of  literary Bible.  When friends share their problems with me Toni Morrison quotes automatically pop into my mind ("Love is never any better than the lover . . .").  I quote Sula or Tar Baby in everyday conversation like preachers quote the Scripture.  I love the exquisite attention that Morrison pays to describing the interior lives of black people.  The subject matter of some of her novels is difficult, but the language is always beautifully breathtaking, thought-provoking, and transcendent.

When I began teaching, The Bluest Eye became the centerpiece of my curriculum and a rite of passage for 8th graders at The Storefront. Students looked forward to reading the novel and completing the metaphor projects that they saw hanging in the classrooms and hallways of the school.

Sharing The Bluest Eye with my 8th graders led to some of my best experiences teaching. I treasure the memories that I have of spending two full days unpacking a single quotation:

“Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another--physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought. Both originated in envy, thrived in insecurity, and ended in disillusion.”

We took notes, drew charts on the board, and  shared real life experiences. I loved when students would point out something in the novel that I had not noticed: the significance of a color, a symbol that I had missed after years of reading the novel.  

Each year I taught The Bluest Eye I did so expecting to get in trouble.  I wrote a rationale and had it ready to hand to the first parent or administrator who complained or questioned what I was doing.   Year after year of teaching The Bluest Eye, a book that has been banned in many high-schools, no one ever said anything.  No parent complained, in fact, it was often the opposite.  During one parent teacher conference Michael Wilkerson's mother told me that she went to the library and took out a copy of the book because she wanted to know what her son was so exited to read and talk about.

One of my favorite moments in fourteen years of teaching is when we finished the last page of The Bluest Eye and Lahasia Brown started applauding. It was such a spontaneous, emotional moment because she wasn't someone who had ever shown a strong interest in books.  Years later, I  love that when Toni Morrison publishes a new short story in The New Yorker, I find out about it from Sonje Washington, a former student and fellow Toni Morrison fan(addict).

Toni Morrison's words have the to ability to engage traditionally strong readers, and those who perhaps will never read a full novel again.  It teaches students how to really read a book, while giving them the opportunity to think about how their beliefs about themselves impact the way that they treat others.

Unfortunately, these moments are not not measurable or considered valuable in an educational setting that is motivated by "data-driven" instruction, Danielson rubrics,  and standardized test scores (and I'm not just talking about The Storefront).  No student is going to remember the Test-Prep that I did with them, the grammar drills, or Wordly Wise tests,  but they will never forget The Bluest Eye.