Brain Food: Fire Up in My Bones

Available on amazon.com

I often scroll past Charles Blow's New York Times Op-ed pieces, but I rarely read them.  In all honesty, they seem to be written for a white audience because they explain things about African-American history and culture that one needn't explain to a black person.

Photo: New York Times

However, after reading Fire Shut Up in My Bones, one thing is for sure, Charles Blow sure can write!  His story of growing up in the South is full of insight into the motivations of both the victims and victimizers that he encountered on the road to becoming a man.   His narrative both elucidates and transcends issues of race.  At times, the poetic prose in this memoir reminded me of Maya Angelou's  ability to vividly describe a particular time and place.

Blow's hometown of Gibsland, LA, Photo: bestplaces.net

At times I found myself highlighting entire pages of text, like one of my 6th graders drunk on the power of their first neon marker.  Blow's analysis of his relationship with his emotionally distant father was particularly thoughtful and interesting.  As the youngest of four brothers, Charles craved attention from a father who did not have the ability to relate to his sensitive and cerebral son.  He says that this lead to a hole in his childhood psyche that predators identified before he could.  He argues that childhood sexual abuse doesn't cause someone to "turn gay" but it happens to children who already unconsciously exhibit a vulnerability that comes from not exhibiting traditional gender traits.  He says, "[abusers] are diabolically gifted at detecting that kind of difference, often before the child can see it in him or herself, articulate it, and accept it."

Much of Blow's story details his attempt to understand and accept his sexuality.  He explores the difficultly in determining if his attraction to men is born out of physical desire or the desire to be "chosen".  The final chapters of Fire Shut Up in My Bones almost seem like an internal monologue in which Blow attempts to define his desires.  His primary attraction is to women, but he is drawn to men, yet simultaneously turned off by the muscularity of their bodies.  He describes himself as "bi-sexual," but only details romantic and sexual relationships with women.  I don't get it.  But maybe the point is that it's not my job to get it.

After reading A Fire Shut Up in My Bones, I look forward to reading Blow's editorials with new insight.  Go to his website to view pictures from his childhood.