Harlem Hair Rules

When I was around ten my grandfather took me to a hair salon in Baltimore.  The hairdresser touched my short natural hair, commented that I was a "waste of yellow," and promptly decided that I needed a Jheri-Curl. I remember going back to my grandparent's house so ashamed by the disgust and impatience in the woman's touch that I flopped down in my aunt's old bed and sobbed.  My grandfather came in and tried to figure out what was wrong; he had a panicked look on his face and I was embarrassed to tell him that all of this emotion was over my hair.  That was the first time that I can remember seeing a man looking helpless.

Needless to say I did not come out of the salon looking like this

Over the years, I have visited hundreds of other hair salons and have experienced various levels of satisfaction.  I have gone from wondering why I was giving my hard earned $15 to someone who complained that I had "pelo malo"- to walking out of a salon with hair so fabulous that I felt invincible.  I have been to the chicest hair salons in Manhattan -and ones where rats were liable to jump out of the trash at any moment.

www.themuseumofafricanart.org

After several years of relaxing, coloring, and frequent heat styling my hair gave up and decided that it rather live in the sink, the drain, or the bathroom floor.  As I gradually cut out the damage,  I look at my real hair as an anchor to attatch the fake hair to.  In preparation for the holiday season, Chloe and I have spent more time (and money) than usual in shops run by black women from Africa, the Caribbean, and the continental United States.  Here are some tips for what to expect in Harlem hair salons.

Our hair budget supports Black owned businesses.  Or at least, that's what we tell ourselves

1. Ignore the condition of your hairdresser's hair.  I know that conventional wisdom says that you should never get your hair done by someone whose own hair is a mess.  However, I have gotten some seriously stylish hairstyles done by women with no edges and/or wigs that looked like wool hats.  The best way to judge a stylist's talent is to ask for a referral from someone whose hair you admire, or arrive early and watch the stylist work on the client before you.

Hair Goals

2. Bring cash if you are in the market for stolen goods.  In addition to the random people entering the salon to sell you DVDs and "gold" bangles, you may also see a real life version of Hustle Man if you are lucky.  Said individual will come into the salon to sell you Dove Soap and Aquaphor he just stole from the Duane Reade around the corner.  He will also take orders for his next trip.

3. Be prepared for instant intimacy. There are some salons that will offer you a cup of Barefoot Moscato as soon as you sit down.  There are others where you will laugh until you cry as stylists joke about wayward husbands and unmotivated sons. There are others where a woman shares that her son doesn't want to go to college from the shelter that they have just moved into- all while she coats your daughters hair in conditioner and coaxes the tangles out of it.

4. Avoid looking too cute going to get your hair braided.  When you walk into an African hair braiding salon the women will take you outside (regardless of the weather) to talk to you about price. This is to ensure that you don't find out that the five women getting identical cornrows are all paying a different price.  If you insist on looking flawless when you go get your hair braided, expect to pay at least twenty percent more than everyone else in the shop.

Photo:Pinterest

5. Don't feel awkward if someone begins to pray at your feet.  African braiding salons can be some of the loudest most chaotic places on earth.  Women speak to each other in French and Wolof, while television screens blare staticy Nollywood movies.  And in the midst of it all women lay prayer rugs down on floors covered in discarded hair and are at peace.

Most importantly, recognize that your hair is not a deviant part of you that needs to be 'fixed.'  Instead look at it as an accessory that can (and should) be changed according to the dictates of your mood.   You never need a reason or justification for being fabulous!

Trying to find her Zen